13 tips on how to start a conversation correctly

13 tips on how to start a conversation correctly

What do you think, how good you are? How long have you had awkward pauses in your conversation? Several tips described in this material will help you become the best interlocutor, and awkward pauses will be a thing of the past. Being a good interlocutor is just a combination of various communication methods. Body language, several tricks and you can at ease with the conversation with any people.

Start with the question

You want a person to remember you? Ask him an interesting question and listen carefully to him. This will give you the opportunity to make friends.

Find out someone else’s opinion


  • Could you advise me a good cocktail?
  • You know the city well? Can’t tell me a good restaurant?
  • Where did you buy this phone/accessory/clothing?
  • What do you think about this party?

Application of the economic concept to conversation

Imagine your conversation is a bank. If you have a lot of investments, then things are going well. If loans are more than investments, then it is worth changing something. Having transferred this metaphor for communication, we get this.

Emotional investments

  1. Agree with the interlocutor
  2. Correct body language
  3. Use the name of the interlocutor
  4. Tell jokes
  5. Encourage the ideas of the interlocutor
  6. Listen attentively
  7. Ask for an opinion

Emotional loans

  1. Disagree with the interlocutor
  2. Incorrect body language
  3. Talk a lot about yourself
  4. Lie
  5. Flattery
  6. Vulgar and personal issues

Imagine that your conversation begins with a zero balance and do everything to increase it!

Copying the body language

The practice of copying the body language can help a lot. Your interlocutor crossed his legs? Cross your own. Put his hands on the table? Do the same. Everything is very simple. The time is also very important. Wait for the moment:

  • When the interlocutor says something interesting
  • When you are interested
  • When the interlocutor is proud of something

And then copy it. A person will assume that you emphasize him and will be great if it is really so.

How to talk about yourself and not be terribly boring

You can be an incredibly charismatic and interesting person. But, people are simply not interested in listening to others, no matter how wonderful you are. If you continue to follow our economic concept, then you must make an emotional investment. Make the interlocutor experience emotions and he will be very interested in talking with you.

Change the depth of the conversation

You know the proverb: small minds discuss people, medium -sized events, and great ideas – ideas? Use it. Start small and make fun of someone, then find out the opinion of the interlocutor about any event, and then move on to the ideas related to this event. Eg:

Introduction: Hello how your day has passed?

Event: you plan something on Valentine’s Day with Katya?

Idea: I saw an article on the Internet about how we perverted Valentine’s Day in comparison with its traditional meaning.

Ask the interlocutor to be interesting

Each person is interesting in their own way, but few people actually reveal. So give them a chance to open and they will only think about you. Here is a simple example:

Tell me something interesting about yourself.

This is a great occasion to start a conversation that will make you look more attentive and at the same time will make it possible to learn something really interesting about a person.

How to ask people what they do

How do you spend your time when not ..?

Instead of emptiness at the end there should be something that you know about a person. Here are a few examples:

How do you spend your time when you do not write your exciting blog?

How do you spend your time when you don’t sit on Facebook*?

How do you spend your time when you don’t go to the gym?

Be a good listener

If you asked me to give one advice on how to become a good interlocutor, I would stop there. This is the most important part. Listen to a person. Be sincerely interested in what he is talking about. Keep the interlocutor’s story with your questions. Interested in them and he will be interested in you in response.

The pace of the conversation

Basically, the fast pace of conversation is a sign of nervousness and excitement, and a moderate pace is a sign of confidence. Therefore, try to speak at a moderate pace, but if your interlocutor speaks at a fast pace, copy it and speak also.

Change the topic of the conversation correctly

It happened to everyone: you are discussing something with your acquaintance, but then the third person bursts into your conversation and turns the whole conversation in your direction. It is terribly annoying. But only if you do it wrong. You must make an emotional investment at the end of your monologue. This will distract attention and you will not look like an idiot, changing the topic. Example:

Chris: My son is a very good football player.

Me: cool! You once talked about where he trained. My son recently earned a black karate belt and leaves for Korea under the student exchange program. After all, your son trained in Korea? You can give me a couple of tips?

In this dialogue, an emotional investment was a compliment to Chris and his son. I changed the topic of the conversation to what I needed, making it right.

Make the right compliments

Compliments is a very powerful tool if you use it correctly. The correct way to use compliments is to do them about what a person is proud of. Eg:

  • If a person is in good shape and it is obvious that he spends a lot of time in the gym, make a compliment about his figure.
  • If a person is successful in his career, make a compliment of his creativity, business selection or intelligence.

Do not compliment the qualities of people if they have not achieved this on their own. Do not tell a beautiful girl that she is beautiful. She already knows that.

Combine friends

If you are at a party or public event, you are unlikely to stand in one place. Most likely, you will go from one group of acquaintances to another. If you see familiar people in different groups, do not be afraid to invite them to talk together. Do this with a joke and without tension. And then your friends will remember you as a very friendly person.

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