In fact, we can be any1. But first you need to free yourself from a deceptive installation.
Cheryl Snepp Conner Founder Snappconner PR, author, public relations specialist and business communications.
Why consider the type of personality unchanged is a mistake
We are used to asking: “You are an extrovert or introvert?”,” You are a choleric or sanguine?”,” You prefer white or red?” – as if these labels forever determine the personality. But a recent study refutes this.
In 1947, teachers appreciated 1,200 adolescents at the age of 14 according to six characteristics: self -confidence, perseverance, mood stability, conscientiousness, originality and desire to study. After 63 years, half of the participants were again tested. Scientists asked everyone to evaluate themselves according to the same criteria and get an assessment of someone from loved ones. As a result, there were almost no coincidences with the original characteristic.
According to Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert, after 10 years a person becomes different. During his research, Gilbert asked people how much their interests, aspirations and values changed over the previous decade. Participants noted significant differences. Then he asked how much, in their opinion, the interests, aspirations and values will change in the next 10 years. Most suggested that it was not essential.
It seems to us that we will remain the same as now. But the same Gilbert said: “Everyone is an unfinished project that mistakenly considers himself completed.”. This is the problem.
As the thought of an unchanged personality prevents us
Firstly, because of it we tend to make an opinion about others, based on their past. For example, getting acquainted with the person whom we are thinking of hiring, we ask about his previous experience, study his achievements, are interested in the opinion of other people. We accept for granted that his previous actions will tell us how he will behave in the future.
Undoubtedly, past actions can tell something about a person and find out about them. But it is better to evaluate the current installations or approaches to solving hypothetical situations. If you want to know about the experience of the candidate, ask what and why he did in the most difficult situation and what would he do now if he had such an opportunity. This will help to understand how flexible thinking has, what is due to his choice then and now.
And this applies not only to candidates for work, but in general to all people. Try to evaluate them by the way they think and behave in the present tense, and not once earlier.
Secondly, due to conviction that the personality is constant, we do not believe that we can and will change. So, we guarantee ourselves that bad habits, dependencies and unhealthy reactions will remain with us further.
How to change any part of yourself
Tony Robbins believes the motivational speaker (and I agree with this) that three conditions are needed to overcome any deeply rooted habit: three conditions are needed:
- A desperate desire to get rid of her.
- A traumatic or critical event that signals that you must change. It can be anything: your child’s experiences that you will die early due to smoking, or the doctor’s words that you should change nutrition to avoid a second heart attack.
- The ability to replace one habit of another.
I checked this theory on myself. For more than 20 years I had a dependence on the dietary cola. At the peak, I could not do without six (at least) cans per day. I made heroic efforts and once held out for six months, until strong stress forced me to break.
Later, I began to notice that I often get sick after flights and lack of sleep, I easily pick up a cold, and began to take a food supplement to increase immunity. I was warned that it could cause a rash as a reaction to poor nutrition or alcohol. I thought that this does not apply to me. A week later, when I was supposed to make a speech at the conference, I woke up all in the rash. And I realized that it was caused by chemistry from Cola, because otherwise I ate well. After this incident, it became disgusting for me to even think about drinking something so harmful to the body again.
It was three years ago. I replaced the old habit that I drink a few combi bottles in a day. And I will never touch the dietary.
Decide right now who you will be tomorrow
Everyone is able to change the established beliefs and character traits, making regular efforts. Maybe you were always shy, but at one point you realized that this prevents you from getting something very important. Or lived aimlessly until the case indicated you the need for change.
This is possible. Find what will push you to transformations, choose the habit of a replacement or desired personality quality – and start. Most importantly, do not perceive old attitudes or features as an integral part of yourself.
Cheryl Snepp Conner Founder Snappconner PR, author, public relations specialist and business communications.
Why consider the type of personality unchanged is a mistake
We are used to asking: “You are an extrovert or introvert?”,” You are a choleric or sanguine?”,” You prefer white or red?” – as if these labels forever determine the personality. But a recent study refutes this.
In 1947, teachers appreciated 1,200 adolescents at the age of 14 according to six characteristics: self -confidence, perseverance, mood stability, conscientiousness, originality and desire to study. After 63 years, half of the participants were again tested. Scientists asked everyone to evaluate themselves according to the same criteria and get an assessment of someone from loved ones. As a result, there were almost no coincidences with the original characteristic.
According to Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert, after 10 years a person becomes different. During his research, Gilbert asked people how much their interests, aspirations and values changed over the previous decade. Participants noted significant differences. Then he asked how much, in their opinion, the interests, aspirations and values will change in the next 10 years. Most suggested that it was not essential.
It seems to us that we will remain the same as now. But the same Gilbert said: “Everyone is an unfinished project that mistakenly considers himself completed.”. This is the problem.
As the thought of an unchanged personality prevents us
Firstly, because of it we tend to make an opinion about others, based on their past. For example, getting acquainted with the person whom we are thinking of hiring, we ask about his previous experience, study his achievements, are interested in the opinion of other people. We accept for granted that his previous actions will tell us how he will behave in the future.
Undoubtedly, past actions can tell something about a person and find out about them. But it is better to evaluate the current installations or approaches to solving hypothetical situations. If you want to know about the experience of the candidate, ask what and why he did in the most difficult situation and what would he do now if he had such an opportunity. This will help to understand how flexible thinking has, what is due to his choice then and now.
And this applies not only to candidates for work, but in general to all people. Try to evaluate them by the way they think and behave in the present tense, and not once earlier.
Secondly, due to conviction that the personality is constant, we do not believe that we can and will change. So, we guarantee ourselves that bad habits, dependencies and unhealthy reactions will remain with us further.
How to change any part of yourself
Tony Robbins believes the motivational speaker (and I agree with this) that three conditions are needed to overcome any deeply rooted habit: three conditions are needed:
- A desperate desire to get rid of her.
- A traumatic or critical event that signals that you must change. It can be anything: your child’s experiences that you will die early due to smoking, or the doctor’s words that you should change nutrition to avoid a second heart attack.
- The ability to replace one habit of another.
I checked this theory on myself. For more than 20 years I had a dependence on the dietary cola. At the peak, I could not do without six (at least) cans per day. I made heroic efforts and once held out for six months, until strong stress forced me to break.
Later, I began to notice that I often get sick after flights and lack of sleep, I easily pick up a cold, and began to take a food supplement to increase immunity. I was warned that it could cause a rash as a reaction to poor nutrition or alcohol. I thought that this does not apply to me. A week later, when I was supposed to make a speech at the conference, I woke up all in the rash. And I realized that it was caused by chemistry from Cola, because otherwise I ate well. After this incident, it became disgusting for me to even think about drinking something so harmful to the body again.
It was three years ago. I replaced the old habit that I drink a few combi bottles in a day. And I will never touch the dietary.
Decide right now who you will be tomorrow
Everyone is able to change the established beliefs and character traits, making regular efforts. Maybe you were always shy, but at one point you realized that this prevents you from getting something very important. Or lived aimlessly until the case indicated you the need for change.
This is possible. Find what will push you to transformations, choose the habit of a replacement or desired personality quality – and start. Most importantly, do not perceive old attitudes or features as an integral part of yourself.